


When The Star Stole The Wolf’s Heart.

by I_Regret_Nothing_666



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Full Moon, Gen, Hurt!Remus, Hurt/Comfort, No Sex, No Smut, Remus gets a bit miserable around full moons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-01-26 21:12:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12566276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Regret_Nothing_666/pseuds/I_Regret_Nothing_666
Summary: “The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run.”Or, Remus gets really bad mood swings around the full moon, Sirius is the only person who stands a chance of being within a five-foot radius of him. The other Marauders find this out the hard way.





	1. Chapter 1

It was September 1st, 1971. One day before the full moon. Remus Lupin was extremely irritable and fidgety, his heightened senses were a massive hindrance at the moment. All that B.O. Yucky. All that gossip. _Oh God, I don’t want to hear about how Agnis grew a third eye in Transfiguration, thanks._ He was in his first year, and was about to be sorted, at that exact moment in time, he didn’t actually _care_ where he was sorted. He just wanted to get out of the Great Hall and sleep. But that wasn’t gonna happen any time soon. Besides, he didn’t, and wouldn’t ever have any friends, because of what he was. Apparently, his scars had scared everyone off, leaving him in a compartment alone, all day. He didn’t really care, but it hurt him a bit. 

Anyway, with all of these tensions running high, and all these new smells and sounds, Remus didn’t notice the pureblood boy leer over his shoulder. The boy, who had obviously noticed traits of Muggles on Remus, asked “What are you, a mudblood?” Remus, who has dealt with ignorance all his life was already fed up with this kid, so he whipped around and spat, 

“Halfblood, pureblood, muggle born. Who gives a shit? I’ll still know more about magic than a posh wank stain, like you in one year, when your in your fifth year. Oh, and, if you get in my personal space again, your mother will have trouble identifying you in the morge.” And everyone just stopped and stared at him, stunned. But two boys, one with unruly, short black hair and stunningly green eyes, the other had long black hair which was pulled back in a messy plait, which hung down to the small of his back. He also had vibrant grey eyes that Remus found distracting. _They_ were grinning like idiots. 

“Oh my God. We’ve found our third.” Remus didn’t know what they meant by that, but soon one of the boys were called up. 

“Black, Sirius.” Professor McGonagall called. She must’ve missed Remus’ outburst. Sirius, the one with the long plait strutted up to the stool, but Remus knew otherwise. He knew an act when he saw one. Sirius was terrified, Remus could smell it. Sirius was sat on the stool for a while, during this time, the other boy creeped up to Remus and thrust out a hand. 

“I’m James. James Potter.” Remus hesitated. The little voice inside of his head whispered things like;

 _Don’t get close to anyone. They’ll find out eventually. They’ll think you’re a monster. Which you are, might I add_.

But, for once in his life, he ignored the voice. Because, hey. You only live once, right? He shook James’ hand. 

“Remus Lupin. Pleasure to meet you.” He almost jumped when the Sorting Hat shouted out, 

“ _ **Gryffindor!**_ ” Funnily the Gryffindor table didn’t clap. They were looking confused and at the Slytherins. The room had gone silent. The Slytherins looked disgusted. Sirius himself went extremely pale. The only person who clapped was James, who whooped for his friend. Deciding that if he wanted these boys as his friends, Remus clapped too. He didn’t understand why everyone was surprised about this. Very slowly, Sirius made his way to the Gryffindor table, when he sat down, the table seemed to find their voices. They screamed approval and clapped a lot louder for Sirius than he had for anyone else who had gone to join their table. Sirius, on the other hand, didn’t smile. He looked... scared? Remus could see that Sirius was extremely worried about being sorted into Gryffindor. He didn’t know why, he always thought that he would be sorted into Ravenclaw, like his dad. He would’ve given a lot to be in Gryffindor. 

“Lupin, Remus.” Remus pushed through the crowd of first years and was greeted by the usual gasps of horror and whispered comments behind his back. He _knew_ his scars were ugly. He didn’t need anyone else to point it out for him. He sighed quietly, he knew his life wouldn’t ever change. He sat down on the wooden stool, the Sorting Hat slipping down past his eyes.

  _Hmmm_ , said a little voice in his ear. _I’ve never sorted a werewolf before_. _Very smart, lots of wisdom... but no. Ravenclaw isn’t good enough for you._ Remus wasn’t sure what to think by that. _Usually well-mannered unless it’s a full moon, but that’s understandable. Better be,_ “ ** _Gryffindor!_** ” It shouted. Remus beamed as he pulled the hat off his head. He jumped off the stool and ran to sit by Sirius, who smiled broadly. 

“Well done, mate. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Sirius Black.” Remus blushed slightly. 

“Remus Lupin. It’s a pleasure.” 

“Pettigrew, Peter.” A squat, plump little boy tripped up to the Hat. Like Sirius, it had taken this boy a while to be sorted before it shouted, “ _ **Gryffindor!**_ ” The boy smiled in relief as he clambered over to sit opposite Remus. 

“Hi! I’m Peter!” 

Remus smiled again, 

“I’m Remus.”

“Potter, James.”

James sauntered up to the Hat. It had barely touched his head when it also shouted, 

“ _ **Gryffindor!**_ ”

He beamed and ran to the Gryffindor table. He sat opposite Sirius and next to Peter. 

“So, boys. How ‘bout we stick together, eh?”

Sirus cried, 

“You betcha!”

Peter looked relieved again, 

“Yes!”

Remus smiled broadly. 

“Of course.”

And that was the start of their friendship.

Remus’ head was still throbbing, he could still hear and smell everything, but he felt a lot better now, especially when Sirius’ arm brushed his own. After the boys finished desert, they followed their Prefect back to their dormitory. They were all sharing a room, much to everyone’s delight.   Remus got into the bed closest to the door, with Sirius next to him, James next to Sirius and Peter by the window. They all fell asleep quickly but Remus and Sirius woke up first, Remus because it was a full moon, and he felt like a steaming lump of Thesteral crap, and Sirius because he was used to getting up at the early hours of the morning. Remus would never admit it, but Sirius looked super hot with his tousled hair.

“Awe mate, you look like shit!” Sirus whispered. Remus snorted. 

“Feel like it, too.” Before Remus had any idea of what was happening Sirius had bounded over and pushed him back onto his bed. Remus was actually a bit scared. 

“S-Sirius, w-what-” Remus was cut off by Sirius, who dived onto him, straddling his hips. Sirius laid down on Remus’ chest and proceeded to try and cuddle the werewolf out of him. Remus chuckled quietly. 

“You can’t just cuddle me until I feel better!” Sirius didn’t seem to care about the fact they only met last night. 

“Yes I can.” Was Sirius’ short answer. Remus giggled again. 

“Come on, Sirius. We need to get ready for class.” Sirus huffed, but un-latched himself from Remus. He climbed off of Remus’ lap and stood up, while Remus sat up and smiled a small smile at Sirius, blushing like mad. Sirus brought his had up to Remus’ forehead. 

“Merlin’s beard you’re burning! Do you want me to walk you to the hospital wing?” Remus, deciding that because all of the teachers knew about his condition and they should be sympathetic of him today, replied, 

“Nah, I’m fine.” Sirus still looked suspicious but decided to drop the subject. “I’m gonna take a shower, okay?” Remus told Sirius, who nodded. He stepped into the bathroom and locked the door. He dropped his school robes onto the toilet and stepped into the shower cubicle. Once he came out again, fully clothed, both Peter and James were now awake. James was complaining about the fact he had to get up for class, Peter was trying to pull his trousers on backwards. 

“No-no Pete, stop. Just _stop_.” Sirius was shouting. Once they were all ready to go down to breakfast, they were twelve minutes late. Sirius mumbled something like: 

“Dunno why, but I hate the number twelve. Always have.” They ran down the spiralling staircase, through the Common Room, out of the Portrait Hole, and down to the Great Hall. Remus’ heightened senses were 10x’s worse today. As they ran down a corridor, his and his friends shoes collided against the stone floor, the noise rang loudly in Remus’ ears. He tried to ignore it, but when he arrived in the Great Hall, he almost collapsed. Students were screaming and shouting to make themselves heard above the rest of the noise. It was a vicious circle. Remus clutched his ears as his legs gave way. He felt a pair of strong arms encircle his waist, but he didn’t know who they belonged to, eyes blinded by white noise. He could smell the smell of the food and everything else. A third year Ravenclaw who smoked had spilt vinegar down his front a week ago, a seventh year Slytherin stank of old blood. A nose bleed, from last year. Professor Scales (the Potions teacher) stunk of a horribly gone wrong draft of Verita Serum. Madam Pomfrey smelt of vomit. A first year Hufflepuff had literally just puked on her. They were both still in the hospital wing. Both of Remus’ nostrils started to bleed. He leant heavily on the body that was keeping him upright, when he heard a familiar voice, too close and _way_ too loud. It was Professor McGonagall, she shouted something like, 

“Let him go, Mister Black. I’ve got him.” _**Too loud.**_ Remus let out a scream. He was almost in tears by now. The arms around his waist loosened, to be replaced by stronger, smaller ones, which started to pull him away from the Great Hall. He passed out. When he woke up, Professor McGonagall was dragging his limp body through the portrait hole. She set him down on a comfy chair. 

“Mister Lupin?” She whispered so as not to hurt his ears. She wiped the blood out from underneath his nose. 

“I’m okay, Professor.” He whimpered weakly. 

“No, Mister Lupin. You’re not. You’ll stay here until you meet Madam Pomfrey in the Entrance Hall tonight. As it is your first day, I will have to go and get your school work. I am sorry. You can complete it in here, though, so you won’t have to worry about that. It’s nice and quiet in here. I will explain to your teachers. Do you know which lessons you have today?” 

“Um, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, History of Magic, Potions and Muggle Studies.” Professor McGonagall grinned cheekily. 

“I’m _sure_ Professor Binns will understand if I excuse you from _that_ area of work, don’t you think?” Remus managed a tiny smile. He was extremely grateful for the teacher in front of him. 

“Thank you, Professor McGonagall.” She smiled again, turned on her heel and left. 

Remus clutched his head. It hurt a lot less now, but what was he going to tell, Sirius, James and Peter? He watched the flame in the fireplace start to die. 

Fast forward the whole school day and the Gryffindors were piling back into the common room, moaning and grumbling about their hard day. Remus decided that because he had finished all of his homework and that he knew most students in the entire school had seen his outburst at breakfast, he would just go up to the dormitory to save him some embarrassment. He hurried up the stairs and plonked down on his bed when he heard a faint tapping on the window. There were about three owls all with letters were waiting to come in. He opened the window and stepped back to avoid being hit in the face by a large, black tawny owl. Said owl flew in, dropped its letter onto Sirius’ bed, then flew out again. A fluffy, young barn owl flapped clumsily over to Peter’s bed, landed with a soft _flump_ and promptly fell asleep. The last owl which was a dark coloured eagle owl glided over to James’ bed and rested on it, waiting patiently for James to return. _Oh well,_ thought Remus, _my parents are probably too busy to send me one... never mind._ He whipped around as he heard the door open. His three new friends walked over the threshold. 

“Hey, Remus. We... um... understand that you probably don’t want to talk about what happened earlier, and we won’t ask. But is it okay that we stay in here with you? I promise we’ll be quiet.” Sirius practically whispered awkwardly, but Remus heard every word, loud and clear. He nodded and gestured to their beds. 

“You’ve got mail.” James’ eyes widened in shock. 

“Christ, Lupin. You sound like someone’s rubbed your throat with sandpaper!” James too, was being very quiet which Remus was extremely grateful for. He shrugged. Peter bounded over to his four-poster bed and cuddled the passed out owl. James was just as excited. Only Sirius wasn’t happy about receiving a letter. He eyed as if he expected it to explode. Remus, knowing his luck, should’ve know that it would, in fact, explode. The letter shrieked about disappointment and disowning. Of traitors and beatings. At least, that’s what Remus _thought_ it said. He was to busy trying to drown it out by flattening his hands over his ears. Sirius quickly lobbed it out of the window, tears in his gray eyes as he watched it tear itself apart as it fell. James quickly slammed the window shut as he pulled Sirius into a tight hug. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Sirius pulled back from James. 

“I know.” Suddenly Remus felt pain shoot through his body. _Oh shit_. 

“I’m really sorry, _shit_!” Remus gasped, pain flaring up through him, “I have to go.” He stumbled out of the dormitory, pushed his way through the crowds in the common room, and tore down the hallway, towards the Entrance Hall. He almost crashed into Madam Pomfrey. 

“Please hurry! It’s starting early!” He practically screamed. She nodded gravely. They hurried through the grounds, towards the new tree that stood over the entrance that lead to the Shrieking Shack. 

“Go now. I will come and collect you in the morning, and Remus? I’m so sorry.” He smiled gratefully as he slipped through the passage. He ran as fast as he could to get to the Shack, as soon as he made it, he collapsed to his knees. His head felt like it was splitting as two, furry, pointed ears popped out of the top of his head, and his human ones shrunk into the side of his head. He cried out with pain when his canines grew to twice their normal length, the serrated edges ripping into his pink gums painfully, as his normally amber eyes grew and began to change shape, the pupils dilating, he shrieked again. His fingernails grew in long, yellow claws and started to bleed, as his bones snapped and reformed. He physically couldn’t scream anymore because his windpipe and vocal cords were tearing and changing shape. His feet and hands melted into strong, padded paws. As hair started to grow all over his body, and his blood spilled over the floor, Remus Lupin was no more. There was only the wolf. As he howled into the night, and tore at his own skin, the wolf panted. Longing for the soft, pink flesh, that belonged to a human. 


	2. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys our in fourth year now. Sirius and Remus have their first bonding experience.

If there was one thing that Remus Lupin was self conscious about, it was his scars. Grotesque and monstrous looking, than ran across his body with the subtleties of a hurricane. Even then, despite his friends accepting his condition, Remus still felt like he had to hide as many of them as he could. Once, he even did a charm to hide them, but Sirius was having none of it. He removed the charm and told him that even though he might not like them, they were a part of him, wether he liked it or not. A bit like his friends. 

James, Sirius and Peter had known of his condition for almost a year. It seemed ridiculous that Remus still felt the need to change behind the bed hangings, and to wear long sleeves under his robes. His friends had seen some of his scars before, but Remus continued to keep them out of sight as often as possible. They were repulsive to him, so they must be for everyone else, too. 

One hot day, he entered the Gryffindor tower and found that he had the dormitory all to himself. He cast off his robes, he removed his tie and unbuttoned the cuffs and the first three buttons of his shirt. As rolled up his sleeves and flopped onto his bed, he sighed with relief, the cool air hitting his perspiring skin. He moaned blissfully. The dormitory was silent, but he could hear the distant sound of the Hogwarts students on the grounds enjoying a Saturday afternoon. Sirius and Peter would be watching James’ quidditch practice. Remus shut his eyes for a moment before he would start that essay for Slughorn. And it really did seem like he had barely closed his eyes when he heard the dormitory door fly open. 

Remus sat up suddenly, disoriented, as Sirius strode into the room. He cast a glance over at Remus with an easy grin. 

“Sorry, Remmy. Didn’t mean to make you jump out of your skin.” Remus sighed, his heart racing (like it usually did around Sirius). He ran a hand through his hair, 

“‘S alright Pads.” He yawned, bringing his legs closer to him. “I didn’t mean to doze off like that. James’ practice over already over?” 

Sirius nodded, stretching and throwing himself unceremoniously  at the foot of Remus’ bed, 

“Yeah, but you know Potter- it’s never over until it’s perfect. Peter decided to stay and watch, but enough was enough. James is the best chaser Hogwarts has got. He doesn’t _need_  practice.” Remus offered Sirius a patient smile. 

“Practice never hurt anyone.” Sirius shrugged, crawling further up the bed, until he was practically sat on Remus’ lap. They were always the most intimate of their small group, and both were starting to realise that they liked the other, in a more than friendly way. Sirius said, 

“If you say so, I told James and Peter that I would find you and we would meet them in the Great Hall for dinner.” 

“Sounds good,” Remus stretched his arms over his head, and then out to the side, feeling the pull in his back, “Think I’ll wash my face before we go down, and-” 

“Remus, what is _that?!_ ” Remus jumped, staring at Sirius, whose gaze was fixed on the right side of his collar bone. Remus quickly readjusted his shirt. 

“It’s nothing, Sirius.” 

“Come of it!” Sirius shouted, “It looks like something has gouged out your skin!” 

Remus looked down, embarrassed. “They’re just scars, Sirius.” Remus mumbled, “You’ve seen some of them.” 

Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand, and held onto it. 

“They aren’t ‘ _just scars’_ Remus. At least, not to you. You cover them up, like you’re ashamed. But you don’t have to do that here. James and Peter don’t care. _I don’t care_.” 

Remus avoided Sirius’ piercing stare.

“They’re just-” Remus took a breath. 

“They’re just... Savage, Sirius. Brutal. Inhumane.” 

“Show me.” Sirius said. 

“Sirius-” 

“We’re good mates, aren’t we? When will you get that you don’t have to hide things from us?! We don’t care, Remmy. I don’t care. You might have to hide it from the school, and the rest of the world, but with us, you can be a bloody normal person! _Because that’s what you are!_ This werewolf thing is a part of you. A tiny part. It doesn’t define you, God dammit! _So show me!_ ” 

Remus swallowed, his mouth very dry. If he had to show his scars to any of the Marauders, he was glad it was Sirius. What Sirius offered him, that sense of _normality_ , even if it was just pretend, was that something Remus could have? Slowly he unbuttoned his shirt just enough to pull his right arm out of his sleeve. From Remus’ collar bone to his shoulder was a deep, jagged gash. The shoulder seemed rough, as if this wound had been torn open again and again, in more ways than one. Five thick, deep, jagged scratches spiralled down his forearm from where the wolf scratched itself. There were big, sharp teeth marks from where the wolf had sunk it’s own teeth into Remus’ bicep. And that was nothing compared to the rest of his body. Remus fixed his eyes on the ceiling. He felt Sirius reach out and trace every single scar, his hand coming to rest on Remus’ shoulder. He was ashamed to say it, but every single time Sirius touched him, Remus flinched violently, all he could do was sit there stoically. Remus turned to look at Sirius and found him gazing into his eyes, before he surged fowards and kissed Remus. Sirius ran his hands through Remus’ sandy hair while Remus could only kiss back, otherwise he was scared he might faint, from adrenaline. He had been waiting for this. When they finally broke apart, Sirius looked into Remus’ eyes again. But this time, he had something like recognition in his eyes. He stood up and pulled his shirt off, turning a little bit to the left. Running down his right side, elbow to hip, was an ugly, jagged scar. 

“Oh my- Sirius... Where on Earth did you-?” Sirius laughed humourlessly. 

“Just a bit of motherly affection, is all, my dear Moony,” Remus snarled. 

“Why, that-” Sirius cut him off. 

“Oh please, Remus. She’s been doing it for years. Honestly, it’s nothing.” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone, “We ran out of Dittany, and no one could be bothered to go and get some more. Besides, it’s not exactly noticeable.” 

“Sirius...” 

“My point,” Sirius brought his arm down roughly, and gripped Remus’ shoulder, and looked straight into his eyes, his own grey ones rather moist, “Is that, everyone has scars. Even if they aren’t visible in that sense. And I understand that you want to keep certain things under wraps. But you don’t have to. Not with us. Not with _me_.” 

Remus felt tears sting his eyes, and he nodded, grasping Sirius’ shoulder in return. Sirius, who had accepted him as a werewolf first. Sirius, who had stood by him and defended him more fiercely than anyone else. Sirius, who had just kissed him and made him feel slightly comfortable in his own skin. Sirius Black was the greatest human being Remus had ever had the privilege to meet. 

Sirius grinned and wiped his eyes. 

“Now that we look like a couple of prats, let’s head on down to dinner, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Remus said, rubbing his eyes vigorously, “And Sirius?” 

“Hmm?” 

“If you ever need anything... Just say the word.” 

Sirius looked at Remus long and hard before smiling slightly. 

“Yeah, I will. Thanks Remus.” 

Redressing and straightening their clothes, they headed down towards the Great Hall. Something was different, this time though. Something had changed. Changed for the better in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me until the end of this chapter! X


	3. When The Star Stole The Wolf’s Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’re in the future now, the Marauders are in sixth year! And Avery gets his ass handed to him. By one pissed off werewolf.

The Marauders were in their sixth year. And in the past three years they had noticed how Remus got really moody about two days before the full moon. Each month varied in emotion. Some months, he’d be really sad. He’d push his food around his plate, drag his feet when he walked, he would go to bed early without even bothering to get a cup of tea. He’d lay his head on the desk in class, not chime in to any conversations, and have the boys constantly worried about him. Only Sirius could make him smile when he was like this.

Other months he’d be completely angry at everything and everyone. He’d sigh in exasperation when he dropped something, snap at people who asked him more than one question, rub his eyes and groan when he was asked to do something, and he’d sit on the Common Room couch with a mixture of annoyance and disgust on his face as he tried not to roll his eyes at everyone, which made the other boys nervous whenever they were around him, like he was a bomb ready to explode. Only Sirius could calm him down when he was like this.

And sometimes, just sometimes, he’d be a mixture of both. He’d listen to his sad records, but let out an aggravated groan when they’d skip. He’d stare off in class and when he missed something the teacher said, he’d hastily flip through his book and try to catch up, while sporting a pissy-pouty look on his face. The boys did not test him when he was in this mood. When he was this way, he had no tolerance for bullshit. When he was this way, the only person who wouldn’t get a sarcastic comment or halfhearted shrug, was Sirius. Sirius was the only person brave enough get close to Remus when he was in a mood, and it helped Remus more than Sirius ever knew.

And so one day in their sixth year, one day before a full moon, he was in that particular mood. They were all in transfiguration. 

James was sitting with Lily on that day because she had let him; she knew she was starting to like James. In more than a friendly way. Sirius was sat with Peter, chatting about random nonsense, and Remus was sat on the next table along, with his head on his crossed arms. He liked to be alone during classes before a full moon, but of course, only the Marauders knew that. A snotty Slytherin came and sat down by Remus, after seeing there was no other seat available. It was the same snotty Slytherin that Remus had insulted on his first day. Avery. Neither of them were happy about this arrangement. Towards the end of the class, Professor McGonagall said, “Transfiguring muggle-owned things aren’t tolerated because it is too risky. One small slip up, and it would expose the magic... and probably scare the owner half to death, too.” A few people chuckled slightly. Avery laughed the loudest. “What’s so funny, Avery?” She asked politely, but firmly. 

“I just think it’s funny,” He started, “That muggles can’t really seem to grasp anything.” James felt Lily tense next to him. ‘ _Here we go again. Guess I’m going to have to get my fists bloody after class again._ ’ He thought. 

“Come again?” McGonagall asked with a puzzled look. 

“I just mean,” Avery started again, “Haven’t they noticed something was up by now? Haven’t they noticed magic before? I mean the Ministry can’t erase everyone’s memory. I guess they’re just slow... Uneducated and slow.” At that, Remus slowly raised his head off the desk and turned to look at Avery, wearing a look that could either mean, ‘ _I can’t believe someone actually thought that in their head and then decided to say it out loud_ ’ face, or an, ‘ _I hope you’re not allergic to nuts ‘cause if you say anything that stupid again, I’ma gonna kick yours so hard that they will go up into your throat._ ’ Face. Sirius wasn’t sure. Then, Avery spoke again. In a voice just low enough for McGonagall not to hear, but everyone in a 10 foot radius to, 

“Maybe that’s why mudblood’s are so slow and horrid at magic, they take after their stupid parents. Aren’t I right?” And just as Sirius and James are ready to beat him into a pulp, Remus took a handful of Avery’s hair from the back of his head into his fist, and with a sickening BANG!, slammed Avery’s face on the table so hard and so fast, James almost missed it. 

“ _REMUS!_ ” Shouted Lily and McGonagall at the same time, Lily standing up so fast that she knocked her chair over. Avery’s nose started gushing blood, undoubtedly broken, as he wailed and fumbled, trying to get away from Remus. But Remus is just sat there, with a half bored, half disgusted look on his face as he watched his classmate flail about. Peter and James shared the same shocked expression, before James glanced at Sirius, and before they knew, they were on the floor, laughing their asses off. All Sirius could think was, ‘ _Ah, so it **was** the second one. I knew it._ ’ Remus spoke to Avery, quietly and slowly, as if Avery was a young, misbehaving child. 

“If I _ever_ hear hear you say anything like that again, I’ll hit your face on the desk so hard, even your mother will have trouble identifying you in the morge.” 

“Go to Hell!” Avery wailed. Remus smirked. 

“Nope. Can’t go to Hell.” He leaned in really close but everyone heard what he said next, “Satan still has a restraining order against me.” Remus looked up in time to see Snape roll his eyes. His voice dripped with sarcasm, 

“Snape, keep rolling your eyes. Maybe one day you’ll find a brain back there.” 

Snape drawled, 

“You know, you’re not as smart as you think you are.” Remus laughed. 

“I could eat a whole bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.” By this point James had been removed from the classroom because he was laughing so much. Sirius was also crying with laughter, but he managed to tug on Remus’ sleeve. Remus turned to look at McGonagall. 

“I’ll meet you next week for my detention. That will be all.” He followed Sirius out of the room. 

“You... totally... _destroyed_... them!” Sirius wheezed between his laughter. Remus smiled slightly. 

“Yeah, well. I meant it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me until the end of this chapter! X

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for sticking with me until the end of this chapter! X


End file.
